BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATION

Here's a conversation b/w a guy n his girlfriend on his bday party at the Restrau.....

Just entering the restrau:-

Boy [opening d gate for d gal] : After u, dear. [Hey bhagwan, kya din aa gaye h, ghar walo ne iitni umeedo se paala tha & ab dekho salla ek ladki ne Gate Gaurd bana dala]

Gal: Thank u jaan.

Boy: My pleasure. [Tip bhi de-de. Jab iitna gir chuka hu to ab aur sahi]

After finding the place to sit in d Restrau

Boy: Toh ma'am kya khana pasand karengi- Indian, Chinese ya kuch aur.

Gal: Kuch bhi jaan, jo tum khao.

Boy: [chal paani peeke chalte h, bahut ho gayi date-shate] Menu hamesha lene vale batate hai.

Gal: Mangava lo kuch bhi, Indian, Chinese ya Italian, mein sab khati hu.

Boy: [Lo kar di shuruvat, abye theeno khayegi kya. Aaj to ye bartan majwake hi chodegi] bata naa yaar. Mein bhi sab kha leta hu.

Boy: [Idea soch yaar, nahi to aaj ye chapat lagwa degi] Chal ek kaam kar, jst choose one f d 3 fingers.

Gal choosing d middle one.

Boy: Indian food, chal ab menu bata.

Gal: type of food maine bataya naa, ab menu to tum decide kar lo plz.

Boy: [bata rahi ho to bata nahi to bhag yaha se n koi ehsaan kar diya kya batake, sirf finger hi to choose kari hai.]

Boy: [ek masala papad n 2 glass thanda paani, bahut hai] jaanu bata naa. [Bahut dimag ka dhai kar rahi hai, mujhe hi kuch karna hoga]

Boy: Chal ek-ek sabji bol dete hai.

Gal: Phele tum

Boy: [Hey bhagwan!, kaha phass gaya. chalo sabse sasti sabji dhundta hu.]

Boy: [Abye yaha to ek bhi sabji 120 se kam hi nahi h. Aaj to teri bahut dhulayi hogi, beta] Malai kofta, now u say.

Gal: Kadai paneer n naan mangwa lo.

Boy looking at the rate of Kadai paneer.

Boy:[210 rs/plate. Oye ye pagal ho gayi h. 210 ki koi sabji mangwata h kya. Bhagwan, plz yaha par clg concession ka koi system ho] Aur kuch jaan.

Gal: Abhi ke liye bahut h, baad m rice le lenge.

Boy: [bas yahi sunna baki raha gaya tha] Waiter- Malai kofta, Kadai paneer & 2 naan.

Waiter: Salad lena chahenge Sir.

Boy: [bhag jaa tu yaha se, nahi to ye haan bharne m jyada tym nahi lagayegi]

Gal: haan le aao.

Boy: [bahut badiya]

Thoda normal hote hue.

Boy: Mera gift kaha h.

Gal: Gift loge kya. Mein to laayi hi nahi. Arre jaldbaji thi, phele Mom ne mana kar diya tha shaam ko bahar nikalne se par end mouke pe haan bhari so tym nahi mil paaya...I m sry.

Boy: [Thank-u, tujhse aur kya umeed ki jaa sakti hai] Koi gaal nahi, by d way mujhe chahiye bhi nahi tha. I ws jst kidding. Tu mere sath h aur kya chahiye mujhe. Ek sachha pyar mil gaya, bahut mere liye.

Gal:How sweet! Tumhari innhi baato ne mujhe dewanna bana rakha h.

After few min. Waiter brings d ordered things n placed it on d table. They started eating.

Gal: Mujhe aaj ghar jaldi jana hoga. Ghar pe guest aaye hue h. Mom se 2 hrs ki permission leke aayi hu.

Boy: [Meri bala se to abhi jaa, tujhe roka kisne h] Kya yaar aaj ke din bhi thoda sa tym nahi nikal sakti. Aaj ka din m sirf tere sath bitana chahata hu

Gal: Jaanu, aaj possible nahi ho paayega, try to understand.

Boy: [Aakhir bhagwan ne meri sun hi lee. Bhagwan ko bhi bache pe taras aa gaya, ek pyaare se bache pe iitna julm hote dekh] Koi nahi yaar, chalta hai.

Gal: Kaha naa I m sorry.

Boy: I also said naa ki chalta hai.

Gal: nahi tumhari kahane ki tone alag thi.

Boy: [Oye pareshan aatma, jaa rahi ho to jaa par dimag ka dhahi mat kar] yaar tu phokat mein pareshan ho rahi hai. Its fine.

Gal: Tumhari aankhe bata rahi hai ki tum saaf jhooth bol rahe ho.

Boy: [Chuchundari, aankho ko pura pad. Mein tere se pareshan ho chuka hu issliye dukhi hu] teri kasam, I m perfectly allright.

[Tenson mat liijye aap log. Meri jhoothi kasam ka iss par ab tak to koi asar nahi hua aage bhi nahi hone wala, so jst chill n continue reading]

Gal: okkk...yaha se jane ke baad kya karne ka prog. hai.

Boy:[Sabse phele talli hoke dance karunga, phir pure mohalle mein mithayi batunga. Abye meri shaam jyada barbaad hone se bach jayegi, isse aur khushi ki baat kya hogi.]

Kuch nahi, ghar jaake dosto ke sath kahi ghumne chala jaunga[paelam NSP-Nayan Sukh Prapti karunga]

After few min. they ended up with their dinner & had their dessert.

Boy: waiter, bill le aao [Hey bhagwan, mujhe esi power do taki m yaha se gayab ho jau.]

Waiter placed d bill to d boy's side

Boy [before opening d bill book]: [sare devi-devtao ki jai ho.]

Jo darr tha vahi hua. As soon as the boy saw the bill his heart came into his mouth, he felt that instead of blood, a tadka of chiily, lemon n salt was flowing in his body. Uske haatn pavn sunn pad gaye. In short it was like dat ki kisi ne ladoo khilake rape kar diya ho.

It was written 780/- only

Boy: [Kutto, kamino, haramiyo, marr jao kahi jake aur tumhari maut pe to kutta toilet karke jaye vo bhi rabies infected vala. 2 jano ke khane ka bill 780 Rs.............Mein KIRAN BEDI ki AAP KI KACHERI m jaunga, saalo bache ko loot rahe ho.........Mom ne 1000 Rs diye the bday pe dosto ko party dene ke liye aur abhi dosto ka number to aaya hi nahi.......Abye mujh garib ko koi discount de do, Clg i.d card pe hi de do]

Boy [hath kapkapate hue, apne wallet m se 1000 ka note nikalte hue] : Here it is.

Waiter brings the change.

While the Boy was taking away the left money, Girl interrupted.

Gal [at very low pitch said]: Tip nahi doge.

Boy: [Baech(sell) khao mujhe. Abye jaan le lo meri. Rupee tu nahi, mein de raha hu] Ya ya, sorry [placing a 10 Rs note]

At the Restrau gate

They shake their hands n said buh-bye to each other n moved in opposite direction.

There was only one song that the boy could remember at this tym

HUME TO LOOT LIYA LIKE MILKE HUSN WALO NE, GOORE GOORE GAALO NE, KAALE KAALE BALO NE.........................

By:-

MANU JAIN
NIT-Jpr

Y i slpt in bus that Day !!!

It is not everyday that when you board a bus for 6 hrs
n didn’t fully using it, seeming it to b a mille-second

Last night after playing cards wit my cousins, I had a beautiful victory in Black Queen……I decided to night out to watch Torque n Bourne Identity. It ended smthing around 2:45 am n I had to wake all my cousins,Mausi n my Dear Mom as v had to board a bus to Beawar at 4:20 am. It was a calm night.V took seats n the very next moment I was in dreams.

There was unusual power in the wind which wanted to blow all its thought to me, but I f**k was in dream’s f**k cannot felt it !!! Now what to b…………………..It’s abt 8:00 am n the very next stop a girl passed by me. Her glittering eyes made me spell bounded(actually it was not only her eyes that made me spellboundedbut it was her sexy legs n dress-a really beauty dude.I noticed her dress.she wore a pink n white salwar kameez,her pearl necklace with pink colour work on it n matching earings too.she had applied a glittery silver white nailpolish), then my bro told that she was sitting behind us from d starting of d journey.

Now as usual I followed her to d snacks shop. As soon as she turned over me, I was awe-struck…………as she passed me a cute smile with a sexy dimple on her face……….Again d journey was on. I was staring cont. at her but due to presence of her Mom, my eyes couldn’t make a contact with her’s. She was not interested in me………………..I felt it. In last 15 min of journey, she looked at me but still I was in dilemma????????

V reached d final destination at 9 am, while gathering d luggage, I felt like smone trying to put smthing in my hands but I drop it witout seeing it-I don’t know why I did that. I came out of d bus n then learnt from my bro………………………………………………………………………… that it was she, trying to give me a paper chit n after I dropped it, she further passed it through her sexy legs, but chit struck at bus doorway……….What d f**k dude.
My heart was fully turned to my extreme right!!!!!!

GOD, Why I only???????

Y I slpt in bus that day???????????????

CRAZY INCIDENTS

Some f d Worlds unique abnormal incidents occurring in my lfy…..
Jst hv a look at dis one……

On 23rd Dec my exotic trip to Andaman ended. For submission f collg fee &
seeing my barbaadi i.e GRADES I hv to remain in Jaipur for 1 day. Mom n Dad left
to Kota on 23rd only….

24th Shaam ki train thi Kota ke liye….In Andaman dere ws a place where Active
Volcano occurs, in d similar way Train No. 2182 bhi mere liye active abnormal
incidents ki place ban chuki thi…

Acc. to as usual trnd mere compartment mein ek bhi ladki nhi thi n also to
another usual trnd mere paas vale mein bahut sundar ladki thi n one more usual
trnd she ws wit her family. Her simplicity made me her fan, her cheeks appeared
to me as if I cld jst cuddle her to death.

After 2-sided eye contact, she took out her cell n started doing smthing &
suddenly in my cranky mind a weird idea came. I switched on my bluetooth &
den made a search for another bluetooth devices as her cell appeared to b a
multimedia set. 3 another bluetooth devices found n my gud luck worked. 1 f dem
were named as ‘AASTHA’. Mera dil garden-2 ho gaya. My exitation level
reached its zenith. I pinched myself taki vishwas ho jaye ki I m nt in my drms.

Another weird idea struck in my mind. I edited a pic. & wrote in dat
‘lkyed ur simplicity’, den I named my bluetooth device as ‘Manu’. I try
to send dat file via bluetooth to her n den I came to knw ki mera gud luck bhi
golden pencil se likha hua hai. She accepted my file. After smtime my cell
ringed, displaying to accept a file frm Aastha. Usne thnks kaha n wrote “Wht
do u do?”

Uske baad kya tha, v talked for 2 hrs aur un 2hrs ke dooran mujhe mere bad luck
ne disturb nhi kara. Kota ws abt to come so I send my last edited pic written
“Can I hv ur ph. no.”. She replied “Sorry, I cant. U seems too b very
naughty guy bt frm inside ur soul is very simple. Rson fr nt giving d ph no. is
ki recenty mere sath ek hadsa hua hai n mein us sadme se abhi tak bahar nikal ke
nhi aa payi hu”. I replied – “nyways It ws nice talking to u. Hope to meet
u soon in Jaipur” n den her last reply came-“We will”

Kota aa chuka tha. I took my luggage n started moving towards her compartment
as it ws near to d gate. I suddenly heard smthing, I turned back n saw she ws
talking to a gal f her compartment telling “Aap bhi Poddar collg mein hai,
mein vaha se bba kar rhi hu. Mera naam MILLE hai” Wht d f**k is dis. Agar
iiska naam Mille hai toh Aastha kaun hai? Maine kis ladki se 2hr baat ki? I ws
damn sure ki thi toh vo ladki hi par thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii kaun???????

Mein trn se utra bt my soul ws still inside searching fr her. 5min tak mein
platfrm par dummy ki tarah khada raha. Dimag kaam karna n Dil dhadkana band kar
chuka tha, haath-pavn sunn padh kaye the.
Mein ek ques ki dall-dall mein fastha jaa raha tha ki VOH THI KAUN?

*fiction*

Dillagi karo, par DIL se lagi hui mat karo....

Date-23/10/08
Time-8.55am
Place-MNIT,Jaipur
Hostel No. 7


Class ko mass bunk karvana ke liye mein n Kulhans lecture hall ki taraf nikale. Izzat ki baat thi toh karvana to tha ki kyuki hostel mein bolke jo aaya tha ki karvake aaunga….



Time-12.30pm
Place-MNIT, Computer Lab 2


Prakhar (Praksi) ka phone aaya ki meri tabayat kharab hai isliye aapan aaj hi Kota ke liye ravana ho rahe hai.Shreyash (Shrey)bhi chal raha hai….



Time-5.00pm
Place-Jaipur Main Railway Station


Maine, Praksi n Shrey ne S-2 coach mein seat roki. Coach pura khali tha. Train ko abhi ravane hone mein 20min baki the, toh maine n Praksi ne socha ki thodi NSP (Nayan Sukh Praapati) karke aaye.
Jaise hi hum S-3 me ghuse, laga ki Jannat mein aa gaye…kaha-kaha, kya-kya dekhe.Dekhte hi dekhte hum S-4 mein pauche, Dekh ke laga ki jaise S-3 toh kuch bhi nahi tha. Jaipur ka asli rang-dhang to S-4 mein tha,par mujhe n Praksi ko aaise ladkiya pasand nahi isliye hum jyaada der vaha nahi ruke.hum S-5 mein gaye, itna acha nahi tha par hamare vale coach se bahut badiya tha.
Praksi ne kaha ki saara saman dusre coach mein transfer kar dete hai, par Shrey ne mana kar diya.Main Railway Station se nikalte waqt hamare coach mein at the max. 8 loge the. Train ke chalte hi mein tapak gaya. Praksi n Shrey newspaper padne lag gaye.



Time- 6:30 pm
Place-Vanasthali Station


Mujhe aawaje aayi ki Praksi n Shrey ‘Wah! Wah!’ kar rahe hai, mein samaj gaya ki NSP ho rahi hai. Mera uthna compulsory ho gaya (BOYS ALWAYS READY FOR NSP), par jaise hi mujhe pata pada ki Vanasthali hai mein vapas late gaya, kyuki shayad mere Bansal Classes ka crush(Ankita) jo ki 1year n 8 month chala vo yahi pad raha hai (Purani yaade dukh deti hai)
Shrey ne mujhe bataya ki 3 ladkiya aapne coach mein aayi hai, Sundar thi par aur sundar baat ye thi ki vo hamare paas vale block mein baithi hai…
Phir kya tha Praksi aapne cool Attitude mein raha,jyaada bhav nahi diye, n Shrey full-tashan mein raha, kafi Sexy lag raha tha goggles lagane ke baad aur mein bechara-na Praksi jaisa Cool Attitude n naa Shrey jaisi Style. Par mein chup baithe ne vala nahi tha aur maine vo cheez chalu kar di jiski vajah se mein barbaaaad hua aur IIT mein nahi hua n i.e. ‘Aankho se baatchit karna’
Coz of our good luck hum theeno ko alag-alag ladki pasand aayi.Maine dono se kaha ki mein Bus vaali harkat vapas nahi hone dunga aur safar abhi 3 ghante ka baki hai, hence we Can talk to them. So we decided (exactly Shrey n Praksi)ki aapan unke paas jaake normally baat karenge…Phatt toh hum sab ki rahi thi par Praksi ki fantastic style ne hamra kaam karva diya.(Jab hi toh usse MNIT mein C.C. kahate hai).
Hua ye ki Praksi jo pasand aayi thi voh Mobile Charging point par khadi hui thi par kisi karan-vash cell charge nahi ho raha tha, toh Praksi ne mauke ka fayada uthaya aur uska cell charge pe laga diya. Phir ussne usse kafi der baat kari.Praksi ne end mein Sneha se kaha ki ‘Can we 3 can join you 3?’.Haan toh bharni padti uss Sneha ko, Praksi ne jo kaha tha…. Shrey vali ka naam Simran n meri vaali ka Anjali (aakhir–kar mujhe aapne favourite naam ki ladki mil hi gayi).
Hamne batchit shuru ki. Meri najar Simran par padi,uski aankho se laga ki vo Shrey par fultoo fida ho gayi aur toh aur Sneha to Praksi ki brown eyes ki tariff karte-karte hi nahi thak rahi thi. Maine maan mein socha Hey! Bhagvan, iss bhuke-nange ko bhi thoda khana de do…mere par bhi toh koi ladki fida ho….Par mujhe kya malum tha ki Fida word meri dictionary mein bahut jald judne vala hai.
Phir hamne Antakshri khelna chula kara,karib aadha-ghanta khele.Phir Shrey ne Dumb-s-dash khelne ka idea diya, 3teams were made- Me n Anjali; Praksi n Sneha; Shrey n Simran. Tough competition ended in a draw.




Time- 7:15pm
Place- Sawaimadhepur


Hum theeno ko bahut bhuk lag rahi thi, so hum kafi cheeze le aaye. Ladkiyo ke liye bhi hum laye aur to aur bill bhi humne diya. Jaise hi hum khane ka saman laye Sneha n Simran ne usko theen parts mein divide kar diya aur Praksi n Shrey ko le ke alag-alag block mein baith gayi…Man,What the f*** is this??
Anyways mujhe bhi Anjali se baate karne ka mauka mil gaya. Maine usko apne aur Ankita ke baare mein bataya. She was impressed ki itna lamba crush n she also said that how badly she behaved with you,jab tum usse pheli baar baat karne gaye. Meri n Anjali ki tuning kafi acchi baithi,balki mere past ko dekha jaye toh ‘A’word ke saath meri jyaada acchi frequency nahi jamti, par kya karu pasand bhi toh ‘A’ naam ki hi aati hai..




Time- half-an-hour left to reach Kota
Place- In Midway


Meri life ka sabse erotic moment aaise aayega, maine kabhi socha bhi nahi tha.Anjali ne apni aankhe niche kari aur apne dono haatho se mera ek haath pakad liya aur kaha-"Aaj ki duniya mein Love itna lamba nahi chalta ki jitna lamba tumhara crush chala,1year n 8months aur voh bhi kabhi usse baat nahi kari. Mein hamesha se aaise ladke se milna chahati thi aur mein aaj mil chuki". Voh mere aur karib aayi aur apne ghutne ke baal baithi. Mein achambhit raha gaya. Phir usne aapni Ring nikali aur mujhse kaha ‘I Love You, please accept this’
I thought ‘What the hell is going out right here’. Par maine aapne hosh nahi khoye,maine usko pakad kar vapas uski birth par bithaya aur kaha-"My friends are very special and so my Girlfriend should be extra special and Anjali no one can become that special within 2hours.I respect your words, I respect your guts. A girl proposing me is like my dream come true but sorry we can only be friends and if in future I also started liking you I will propose you."
Uski aankho mein aansu dekh kar mein puri tarah pigal gaya,(khambhakat ye ladkiya roti kyu hai), par maine aapne hosh nahi khoye. I gave my hankerchief to her,she took n said nice smell. I said ‘What?’, then I remember that I cleaned my leaking perfume bottle with it. I said that I had given that to you to remove your precious tears n not to smell it. She gave a beautiful smile n that made me crazy for her. Itne mein Praksi n Sneha aaye n they told us that they had a candlelight lunch by switching off all the light of their block n shutting down the windows too…(Wah!!).
Then we 4 reach to the next block to tell Shrey n Simran to get up because Kota is about to come. Par hum kaha nahi paye.Humne jo dekh voh choka dene vala pal tha. How can it be possible?. Humne un dono ko smooch karte dekha, dono ki aankhe band thi,jo ek sacche pyaar ki nishani hoti hai.But Man, What the f***? 2ghante mein iitne close ki Lip Kiss kar dala. Sneha told them "Dear,its train".Voh dono tab jake hosh mein aaye. Humne aapna saman bhahar nikala n we left each other by giving hugs to each other.
Platform se bhahar niklte waqt hume yaad aaya ki water bottle coach mein hi chutt gayi.Praksi bhaagta bhaagta gaya n jo usne dekha vo Jite ji maut ke barabar tha.Usne dekha ki un theen ladkiyo ko unke boyfriend(bf) lene aaye hai. Usne fauran aake hume bataya.Hum theeno vapas dekhne gaye aur Praksi ki baat sach nikali. Unhone jo action kiye,voh dekhne se phele shayad mein marr jata toh aacha rahata. Unhone hume aankh mari aur buh-bye kaha diya..
V ALL WERE DITCHED, hamari bhavano ka majak banaya gaya. Par hum kuch kar bhi toh nahi sakte the. Station se bahar nikalte waqt mere mann mein ek gana aaya.."Soniye Hiriye ,teri yaad aandi ve";by Shael. Usko dekhne ke liye mein aapne cell ki Video file mein gaya aur deha ki ek file hai named "23/10/08;1". Maine kaha ki maine aaj kaunsa video record kiya n I opened that file n saw,mujhe aapni aankho pe vishwas nahi hua.I remembered "ki jab maine Anjali ka photo kichna chaha tha tab maine aapne cell ka Camera chalu kiya tha.Puche bina photo kichne ka Dil nahi kiya tha aur phir maien aapna cell vapas aapni pocket mein rakh diya tha,tight jeans hone ki vajah se cell pura vapas nahi gaya aur pata nahi kaise Video Record chalu ho gaya.Last 37min ki puri recording. Video dekhte hi hum theeno ki baati jail aur humne ek saath kaha ki "Badla lene ka waqt aa gaya hai". Hum theeno vapas gaye aur ladkiyo ke bf ko Video dikhaya..
Phir kya tha… Theeno bf ne unke lapake gaaliya sunayi. India ki most abusive language ka sampurn use kara.


Humne badla toh le liya, par ek galti kar di thi.. "Humne Dillagi ki par Dil se lagi hui kar dali"


BY-

Manu Jain
NIT-Jaipur

*FICTION*